Are You the Prata in the Sandwich?

The Everyday Squeeze 

Ever feel like life has turned you into the prata in a very loaded sandwich?

One side: Your kids.
School fees, tuition, CCA, enrichment, class chats, birthday parties, exam stress, and the classic 11pm line: “Mummy/Daddy, I scared I fail.”

Other side: Your parents.
Medical appointments, medicine refills, bills, letters from Government agencies, and explaining—again—why Singpass needs face verification.

Then there’s you.
Right in the middle. The prata. Crispy on the outside, slightly stressed inside.

Meet the Sandwich Generation 

If you feel a bit squashed, you’re not alone. This is what many call the sandwich generation—adults caring for children while also supporting ageing parents.

In Singapore, it can feel extra real because family, work, housing, healthcare and school needs all run on the same battery: yours.

Caring is More than Paying Bills 

We often say we are “supporting our children”, but actually, we are caring for them—emotionally, practically and financially.

We want to give them opportunities, confidence and a good head start. So we give time, attention, Grab rides, tuition fees, emotional energy, and yes - money.

At the same time, our parents may need more patience, more help and more of our calendar slots as they grow older.

Retirement Planning Cannot Always Wait 

When you are in the middle of caring for both generations, it is easy for one person to quietly move to the bottom of the list: yourself.

Looking after your family matters. But so does making room for your own financial security, health, relationships and the life you hope to have later on.

When everyone needs something now, retirement planning can feel like tomorrow’s problem. But tomorrow comes quite fast—just like the MRT doors closing when you are still tapping in.

For parents in the sandwich generation, putting yourself first may not always feel possible—or even natural. But planning for your own future is not about caring less for the people around you. It is about making sure that, while supporting them today, you are not neglecting the person you will need to support tomorrow: yourself.

Of course, the money side matters. CPF savings, healthcare costs, insurance, emergency funds and long-term care all matter. Singapore schemes such as Silver Support and CareShield Life can help eligible seniors or provide basic protection for severe disability, but they are part of the picture—not magic wands.

And your own plans deserve a place in that picture too.

Retirement: It's Also Your Family Life Plan 

Retirement is not just a money plan. It is also a life plan.

When work slows down one day, what will fill your week?

Friends? Volunteering? Gardening? Walking at the park connector? Learning mahjong properly this time? Kopi with friends without checking WhatsApp every five minutes?

Hobbies, friendships and community may seem like small things now, but they can matter a lot later.

So while you are making space for your children’s futures and your parents’ needs, remember to leave some space for your own.

Caring for yourself does not mean caring less for your family. Planning for your future is part of caring for them too.

Have the Family and Money Chat

Then there is the family conversation—the one we often avoid because it feels awkward.

If there are siblings, caring for parents does not mean everyone must contribute in the same way. One person may give more financially, another may have more time, while someone else handles appointments, forms or CPF matters.

The same applies with children. Giving them a head start does not mean giving them everything. Sometimes it means teaching them to wait, budget and solve problems—while recognising that Mum and Dad have financial needs and plans too.

Talking openly about money, roles and expectations can help everyone understand what is realistic, instead of leaving one person to carry it all.

Protect a Little Space for Yourself 

You do not have to be available 24/7. You can say, “I can help, but not tonight.” You can keep saving for retirement, protect your emergency funds and still have a life of your own.

You may feel guilty. But guilt should not become the family financial planner.

So if your child is one slice of bread and your parent is the other, you do not have to become the totally flattened prata in the middle.

Take care of your family, but leave room for yourself too. One day, your children will have lives of their own, your parents’ needs may change, and you will have your own next chapter to live.

Hopefully, you will arrive there with some savings, a few good friends, things you enjoy doing—and the freedom to drink your kopi while it is still hot.

Useful Singapore Resources

If you are 50 and above, CCS also conducts a Retirement – Are You Financially Ready? workshop to help you assess where you are today and better understand your financial needs for the years ahead.

Supported by the National Silver Academy (NSA), the workshop can help you take stock and plan more confidently for the retirement you want.

Find out more or register here: https://ccs.org.sg/nsa/retirement/

For a quick check-in, explore CPF’s retirement tools and read up on Silver Support and CareShield Life to understand what support may apply for your family.

CPF Board – CPF Retirement Payout Planner
CPF Board - Silver Support Scheme
CPF Board - CareShield Life
CPF Board - Helping parents plan their retirement
CPF Board - Ageing gracefully in retirement 

Published 23 September 2026.